Homecoming was awesome, and I got to punch a guy in the face.
Oct 27, 2009 Randomness
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Thanks to everybody who came out to Fieldhouse last weekend. It’s always fun seeing people from all different era’s hanging together after Mizzou got it’s ass handed to them by Texas. Watching that game reminded me of my time in college at Mizzou. Any of you who were there with me in the mid-late 90′s know that football was just an excuse to drink in a parking lot for two hours and then go downtown and continue drinking at half-time. These kids today, they actually have a team to get excited about….most of the time.
Anyway the night was fun because it was a. Homecoming and b. Fieldhouse. Those are two guarantee-ers of fun. So the show was pretty normally awesome until I got to punch a guy in the face. That’s right, shit officially “got real, yo” last Saturday night, here’s what happened:
So I’m playing “Crazy game of Poker” for the 13,465th time in my life at my show, because people love it, what can I tell you, I’m here for you all people, but I digress. There’s a nice crowd dancing, singing doing the usual thing when 1 guy out of the over 1000 people in the place decides he needs to get on mic. Fantastic. He gets on stage and tries to swing the mic around to his face. First of all, microphones are like little germ magnets, I buy new little covers every 3 or 4 months, AND I’M THE ONLY PERSON USING THE MIC!….. plus, I hate when people grab my shit, it’s infuriating. The first time, I tell him no, and give him a little nudge to send him off the stage, because I’m a nice guy.
Now it’s also important to realize that Fieldhouse has one of the best (if not the best) staff’s in the bar business, I’m friends with most of the bartenders/managers/waitress/doorguys, and normally when they’re not so busy, they would’ve taken care of this guy immediately, but it was Homecoming and everyone was being pulled in several directions.
Alright, so now the guy comes back for a second grab. He’s obviously quite intoxicated, which he should, be it’s about 11:00 on Homecoming night, but after I push him away he comes back for the 3rd grab and that’s it, now I’ve got to call him out.
Remember when I told you the song I was playing? I think that’s a large part of what makes this story enjoyable. I’m at the last, slower half of the song, and I’ve layed down a pretty sweet reggae flavored loop. I decide to loop my self singing “this guys the biggest douchebag in the bar tonight, the biggest douchebag”…..and I layer harmonies on top of it. The crowd starts singing along with the loop and I’m happy. It’s funny.
Douchebag, which is how I will refer to this kid from now on, however, does not find this loop enjoyable, or amusing. He decides to shake up his beer and spray me with it, like we just won the effin world series. Now the line has been crossed, and I say something to the effect of, now, you’ve got to go, I call out to my buddies at the bar to send a door guy over to kindly escort Douchebag out to the street.
What does he do? He says, “Where’s your door guy now” and punches my mic stand, which goes directly into my teeth. OUCH! It’s important for me to note here, that I’ve been making a living playing music in situations like this for almost 14 years, and I’ve never, ever, had a physical confrontation with anyone. That being said, it was time for me to make a little history. I think I surprised him when I swung my guitar around my back and landed a beautiful “jump punch” right below his left eye. See, I was completely sober, and I had about 200 lbs and momentum (because I was jumping off of the stage) on my side. He did not see that coming. This is what he looked like:
It’s also important to note that the light funky reggae loop continued while all of this happened. I love it. I might or might not have gotten a couple more shots in before Douchebag was kindly, safely, and cautiously 
escorted out of the bar by the aforementioned fantastic staff. I got back on stage and finished the song, because I’m an effing pro. I’m not a violent person at all, but I gotta say, that felt fantastic, I had the rage of 150 “nickelback” requests fueling that punch that’s been building up over the years, so for that I say thank you Douchebag, thank you. I also have to recommend watching the 50 Cent “Behind the Music” episode that just recently aired on VH1. It was awesome, and I think that Fitty would’ve been proud of me. Because in the words of one of the guys complimenting me at the end of the night, “Your music was tight yo, and you don’t take no shit from nobody.” Tru Dat Homie, tru dat.
escorted out of the bar by the aforementioned fantastic staff. I got back on stage and finished the song, because I’m an effing pro. I’m not a violent person at all, but I gotta say, that felt fantastic, I had the rage of 150 “nickelback” requests fueling that punch that’s been building up over the years, so for that I say thank you Douchebag, thank you. I also have to recommend watching the 50 Cent “Behind the Music” episode that just recently aired on VH1. It was awesome, and I think that Fitty would’ve been proud of me. Because in the words of one of the guys complimenting me at the end of the night, “Your music was tight yo, and you don’t take no shit from nobody.” Tru Dat Homie, tru dat. In closing, thanks to the brothers Haggerty, Lemke, Kraft, Brad Roeneicke, and The entire Fieldouse staff for having my back, and thanks to you for reading this story, hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Word to your moms.
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